girls: adam’s relapse

[note: i wrote this post on sunday/monday, the night it aired.]

it’s the middle of the night and i’m still reeling from the most recent episode of girls.

did you see it? it’s episode 19: ‘on all fours’.

lena dunham has this innate ability to make me all kinds of uncomfortable in a single, 30-minute episode. that’s why i like her and the show. it’s not all uncomfortable all the time though. it delves into so much territory that something is bound to hit a nerve, happy or sad, with somebody.

i might not be in my 20s anymore but i relate to bits and pieces of all the characters at various times, mostly because it’s so well-written. lena masters the morally ambiguous character like so many try, but often just come up short.

i’m sure this episode will get a lot of attention. i mean, if it affected me like it did, i’m sure there are plenty of others that it struck as well.

the episode followed adam and revealed his addict past as he met a new girl.

they proceeded to have sex twice, but under vastly different circumstances. i’m sure some will argue that the second time was rape, but honestly, wasn’t it just bad sex? i saw it as a human being making a not great choice with someone who wasn’t being particularly clear. but that’s not really my point here…

whatever label you want to put on it, it was incredibly sad and painful to watch. seeing adam as he consciously took that step to have a drink and relapse was heartbreaking. if you’re an addict (of anything), know an addict, or have loved an addict, you know there’s nothing you can do to help or “save” them/us. no matter how bad you want to. it will always be the addict’s battle to fight.

the sucker in me that makes me want to help, save, or kiss and make it better in men (and people), like adam, makes it hard not to want to wrap him in my arms and fix it. much as i’ve wished someone could do for me at times, knowing full well i have to do it on my own.

As Anaïs Nin said, ”You cannot save people. You can only love them.”

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