that horrible day… part 1

i remember moments of it so vividly, almost like it was yesterday.

it was winter of 1985 and i was 9 years old and in the 3rd grade.

sometime, after i’d gone to bed, i remember waking up, almost in a cold sweat. i was wide awake and shot straight up in bed. i immediately had this gut feeling that something was wrong.

i walked trepidatiously to my bedroom door and quietly opened it revealing just a crack of space. in the darkness of the hallway, i could see light pouring out from underneath my parent’s bedroom door.

i instantly felt sick to my stomach, the same feeling i get to this day when i instinctively know something bad has happened.

i made my way to their door and gently knocked but no one answered.

i finally had the guts to open the door and didn’t see anyone. i walked in the room and went to the bathroom that was also lit up.

i saw my mom standing over my dad who was sitting down.

she tried to explain to me something about him not feeling right but i didn’t really grasp it. at some point, they made their way to the door, out to the car, and to the hospital.

i was left home with my sister who had just barely turned 12.

we didn’t really know what to do with ourselves but i remember not wanting or feeling like sleeping. we stayed up watching a duran duran video. i seem to recall it was their documentary, sing blue silver, on vhs. also arena.

those are my only memories from that night… sitting super close to the console tv absorbing all that duran duran had to offer.

at some point the next day, my mom came home and i watched her as she went through every room in the house getting rid of my dad’s ashtrays. they were these weird metal contraptions that had a funnel looking thing on top. they were everywhere, even on the back of the toilet. each one went into a huge garbage bag.

my father had had a massive stroke.

i knew then that my life, ours, would never be the same again. and sadly, it wasn’t.

to be continued…


  1. Naama
    Posted Tuesday, March 5, 2013 at 3:03 pm | Permalink

    can’t wait to read the second part…
    hope you are all well now

  2. Posted Friday, March 15, 2013 at 11:44 am | Permalink

    Thanks Naama! Yes, I’m doing alright now, thank you.

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